I've been thinking about this a lot today, and I realized that one of the biggest mistakes us guys make is that we are too focused on "what she thinks of us" or "if we're going to get what we want (phone number, first date, sex, etc)"...that we completely forget the purpose of the conversation, which is... It sounds simple, but if you remember this when you're in the real world talking to a real woman, you'll loosen up, and start genuinely try to get to know her, and she'll FEEL that.If she feels like you are actually interested in her, she'll become MUCH more interested in YOU.
She's giving you a way to ask her about her personal interests, and she's hoping you'll pick up on that, and run with it. What other kind of things you and your friends to together?
If she mentions that she went bowling, you could follow up with any of the following questions or remarks: * Oh that's cool, I used to bowl in a league. * I think that's awesome that you like bowling, because it's one of my favorite things. Remember, take what she gives you, and use it as an entry way into a deeper conversation about personal interests, instead of being stuck in endless small talk (which she doesn't want either).
Don't make the mistake of spending too much time talking about "surface level" stuff, like the weather, or the other people in the place, or the band that's playing.
That kind of conversation is only interesting for the first couple minutes, because she's waiting for you to take it to the next level.
Don't be afraid to just go ahead and ask her about herself.
I know this sounds like common sense, but do you DO it in real life?If you see that she's wearing an interesting necklace, ask her about it.If you saw her playing pool before, ask her who taught her how to play. you want to talk about personal stuff, not surface level crap.Start with small talk, but move out of it after a few minutes, or she'll get bored of the conversation (and so will you).You're not a child who has to ask permission anymore. Here's an every day example: When you go through the drive thru at a fast food place, and you order a sandwich, what do you almost ALWAYS hear?If you want to take a woman out, just let her know that you're interested in make an offer to spend time together at some place interesting. Usually you'll hear something like, "You can upgrade that to a combo meail for only a dollar more. " It's kind of the same thing with talking to women.