Being a sugar daddy isn’t just about running around St.Tropez with a bevy of tanned 20-somethings on your aging arm.Well, maybe it is, but it’s not all sugar and spice. That’s why Earn the Necklace — a Web site that shares stories of relationships between men and their kept women — has just hired a sugar-daddy advice columnist, a 45-year-old senior financial analyst who writes under a pseudonym, Trent.
“Hopefully I’m not being used just for a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes,” says Trent.
“If I am, that would have been on the table from the outset.” Having everything laid out candidly has a certain appeal, he says.
“We all have our price, be it money, shoes, security, intimacy or attention,” he says.
But once your sugar baby has found you, what do you need to know?
Read on for Trent’s five pearls of wisdom for sugar daddies. Take a cue from Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger: No intimacy before monogamy.
Don’t become intimate too quickly: You might be tempted to seal the deal that first night. A real sugar daddy will wait until he’s comfortable with his sugar baby. Set firm boundaries: Be upfront, and make sure you both know what the boundaries and expectations are.
Sugar daddies should not put anything in writing relating to compensation.
And she has to trust he’ll live up to his end of the bargain, just like he hopes she will hers.
Verbally agree on initial dos and don’ts, and allow room for the relationship to evolve. She might not want to be handed an envelope stuffed with cash, for example, and you might not be content with doling out foot massages and eating in every night.
Be respectful: A sugar daddy needs to respect his sugar baby and listen. Make an effort: There needs to be an emotional and physical connection, and you need to share some of the same interests — or at least be willing to. Chances are you couldn’t have dated her without your money — so make an effort for her to actually like you. If a sugar baby is getting too attached, for example, it’s best for the sugar daddy to remind her of how they met and what the expectations are.
The sugar baby/sugar daddy relationship may be unconventional, but it’s important to remember it’s still a relationship; it’s not just a business transaction. Even though you have the bank account, you still need to keep your sugar baby happy. The reverse is also true: A sugar baby should remind a sugar daddy about their relationship.