Somebody better tell Derek, whoever he is, that it's time to find a new floozy.
Monday night, Paris showed up in Chitown -- in Urlacher's suite, no less -- to see the Bears get bitch-slapped by the Packers at newly-renovated Soldier Field.
We've compiled some her best remarks: "This is a joke. Blache has them playing a seven-man front in a cover-two, and Green is shoving it down our throats. Brian is getting a faceful of offensive line while Traylor has his thumb up his butt and Azumah is still looking for his jockstrap." "Dating a quarterback is a better career move? I kind of like the sound of Paris Favrah, Paris Hilton-Faverah ... That's right, sports fans; Paris Hilton isn't just where American tennis players stay while they lose at the French Open. During last week's bye, hunky Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher was reported to have become another notch on the celebutante's belt. Others said the social ramble ain't restful and claimed Paris Hilton is Memo Paris in disguise. Along with her sister, Nikki, the emaciated hotel heiress is a pseudo-celebrity -- famous mostly for being blonde, rich, getting drunk in public and sleeping with famous men. Back in Chicago, Bears' beat writers got giddy over the reports. Some said he was just getting his tires rotated, and more power to him.
Apparently, this walking advertisement for the Death Tax coyly snapped a heel of her Manolo Blahnik, and No. Later, the two were seen tongue-wrestling over Appletinis in a back booth at P. Urlacher, for his part, denied the two were an item. The national media debated whether Urlacher was using his off-days wisely.A friend of his (seriously) told the Chicago-Sun Times that Ms.Hilton "was kissing everybody in sight that night." Nice!Hilton's spokeswoman -- and don't you know that has to be a fun job -- also denied rumors of folie deux.The publicist claimed Hilton is still "involved" with Sum 41 lead singer Derek Whibley.